This week, with just three months before our wedding, I have been thinking a lot about the one thing that has really kept me level-headed and grounded through the whole process. No, I’m not talking about a bottomless glass of wine - though that helps! Rather, I’m talking about something that might seem obvious for anyone not in the thick of wedding planning: remembering you and your hubby-to-be are on the same team.
Mike has been incredibly helpful throughout the process and, while he might not be so interested in browsing Pinterest for the perfect bouquets, he has always helped with brainstorming ideas and giving feedback when I needed a second pair of eyes. Because of that, I know our wedding will reflect who we are as a couple - not just a dream wedding I had in my head.
Here’s the other thing - people are going to question your motivations and the choices you make for your wedding. Family and friends want their voices heard too for the big day! But sometimes this can unintentionally lead to added stress during an already overwhelming time. The trick, I have found, is for Mike and I to always remember we are on the same team, with the same excitement of starting our lives together as husband and wife. He has my back, I have his.
Along the same lines, I quickly realized that me quipping, “Well, don’t blame me, I wanted to elope!” every time things grew especially stressful in the planning wasn’t really accomplishing anything. It was the verbal equivalent of throwing up my hands in defeat; it was conveying that Mike didn’t want to elope, therefore every issue was his to solve. Don’t get me wrong - I only said this a few times before I started to realize that it wasn’t doing anything to help solve the problem at hand. But it was important that I recognized and changed this behavior so we can always feel that we will approach everything - the good and the bad - as a team.
And isn’t that what a strong relationship - a strong marriage - is really founded upon?